After US Weekly uses her pic, Lena Dunham gives her real “diet tips”
Tabloids are vapid and gross, let’s not mince words. Things like “Diet Tips!” and “Get Your Summer Body Now!” are inundating us all while we’re minding our own business slogging through the checkout line. Lena Dunham was not amused this week when she noticed US Weekly use her image to promote diet tips.
In response, she shared all the reasons she’s really slimmed down — in an epic Instagram post.
The cover reads, “Lena, How she gets motivated,” next to a caption that reads “20 slimdown diet tips stars are using.” First, “slimdown” is not a word, US Weekly. Second, please stop. Lena made her own list of 20 “slimdown tips,” and we are feeling her pain — and totally here for it.
Here are Lena’s tips to get you beach-ready for summer!
1. anxiety disorder *
2. resultant constant nausea
3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny
4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future
5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus *
6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail
7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains
8. finally realizing superheroes aren’t real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they’d handle this)
9. marching your ass off
10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge
11. sleeping 19 hours a day
12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut
13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t
14. realizing who ya real friends are
15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved)
16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency *
17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com
18. keeping your back arched against the wind
19. um, who the fuck cares?
20. I have no tips I give no tips I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx * Star indicates a pre-existing condition
Dunham has been very vocal about her struggle with endometriosis. “The chronic disorder led her to seek out trainer Tracy Anderson, who helped counsel the actress in fitness to alleviate her pain and anxiety,” reports the Huffington Post. When she started shedding pounds, the inescapable media attention started. Dunham made it very clear she didn’t exist to be anyone’s before-and-after poster girl.
“I feel I’ve made it pretty clear over the years that I don’t give even the tiniest of shits what anyone else feels about my body. I’ve gone on red carpets in couture as a size 14. I’ve done sex scenes days after surgery, mottled with scars,” Dunham writes. “I’ve accepted that my body is an ever changing organism, not a fixed entity- what goes up must come down and vice versa. I smile just as wide no matter my current size because I’m proud of what this body has seen and done and represented. Chronic illness sufferer. Body-shaming vigilante. Sexual assault survivor. Raging hottie. Just like all of YOU. Right now I’m struggling to control my endometriosis through a healthy diet and exercise. So my weight loss isn’t a triumph and it also isn’t some sign I’ve finally given in to the voices of trolls.”
Lena Dunham isn’t here to be your poster-girl for diet tips, tabloids. Back off.